please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
