Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
