? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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