and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
