I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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