if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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