I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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