hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
