So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize