Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
North Korea, Best Korea!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
