I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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