I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
