Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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