so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How naked do you want me to be?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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