our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
