That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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