pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
