would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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