Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize