We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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