I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
