On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
