i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
