There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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