Your face is a jimmy john
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
