You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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