I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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