so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
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I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
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I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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