ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize