your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
