I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
