Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
