A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
In America we eat man semen.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
