Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
