Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
