I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You've changed since you got that strap on
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
