just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
