Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
