Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
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Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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