Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
