i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
PANTIES FOUND
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