Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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