let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
