worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
