Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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