i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
