id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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