There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
