Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
false alarm, still single
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
