They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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