I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
