i just had sex bonerless
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
