This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
