dude i'm inner monologue high
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
