are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've blown a few things in my day
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
