so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
