You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
