im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
