she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I need a burrito and a hug.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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